AN UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF CHARACTERS I LOVE • Ben Wyatt
When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town and won. Little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion I guess. Here’s the thing, though, about 18 year olds. They’re idiots. I pretty much ran the place into the ground and after two months got impeached. Worst part was my parents grounded me.
AN UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF CHARACTERS I LOVE • April Ludgate
We have a couple of house rules, though. You can’t use the front door, you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal usted. And no electricity after 6PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.
AN UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF CHARACTERS I LOVE • Brad Williams
This year I am so angry that I don’t even want that slender dragon to get the satisfaction of seeing me rage-spend. Let’s just rage-chill, instead. Rage get caught up on Downton Abbey.
AN UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF CHARACTERS I LOVE • Jim
Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And, well, if this were my career I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.
Jim, (the office)
& Pam Halpert
- I just needed you to know. Once.
AN UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF CHARACTERS I LOVE • Nick Miller, Nick Miller, from the streets of Chicago
This is President Nick Miller of Earth. I’d like to speak to the galactic emperor please. Yeah, it’s about money.